Gil Mansergh’s Cinema Toast Films Opening 7/19/14 Planes: Fire and Rescue (PG) Starring the voices of: Dane Clark, Stacy Keach, Danny Mann, Julia Bowen, Brad Garrett. Terri Hatcher, Ed Harris Directed by:Roberts Gannaway
Since the filmmakers recycle their movie plots, I can do the same with this review. Here’s what I wrote for my 1-piece-of-toast review for the original Planes: “The folks at Pixar/Disney have been lured by the “dark side” into churning out mediocre animated fare for the sole purpose of merchandising toy tie-ins… It has the feel of an assembly-line project slated for airing on the Disney Channel, but they are charging theater prices. Ditto to all the above for the mega-studio’s Planes: Fire and Rescue. The only difference is that our hero now strives to become a firefighter, but only after he burns down his own airfield by accident. Yes, you read that plot device correctly. Seems just wanting to protect forests and homes isn’t enough motivation. John Lassiter, you are a disappointment in your Hollywood gig.
1 piece of continued crass commercialism toast The Purge: Anarchy (R) Starring: Frank Grillo, Carmen Ejogo, Zach Gilford Directed by: James DeMonaco I gave the original The Purge my lowest possible rating: 1/2 piece of morality play hypocrisy toast. This sequel, presented from the point of view of the anarchic rioters is so dreck-filled, that it has prompted me to give my first 1/4 piece of toast. A milestone in crassness has been breached. 1/4 piece of don’t even bother toast Sex Tape (R) Starring: Cameron Diaz, Jason Seagal, Rob Corddry, Ellie Klemper, Rob Lowe Directed by: Jake Kasden In other hands, this might have been a fun-filled, raunchy movie, but here, it’s just crude and unfunny. The talent is there, but the foreplay is non-existent, the sexual chemistry lacks any “fizz,” the plateau just sort of goes on forever, and the climax is well, anti-climactic. 1/2 piece of not at all sexy or funny toast NEW DVD RELEASES
Under the Skin (R)
Starring: Scarlett Johansson, Paul Brannigan, Antonia Campbell-Hughes
Directed by: Jonathan Glazer
This is a week of actors playing against type as Scarlett Johansson stars as an emotionless alien being who suddenly appears on a lonely stretch of Scottish highway. Director Jonathan Glazer (who made his mark with the remarkable mobster hit man film Sexy Beast) treats Scotland as one of the characters, with the indistinct, fogginess of the country’s landscapes, the almost indecipherable Scottish accents, and the creepiness of Glasgow’s back streets. The female, (at least the human body that has been co-opted is female), is on Earth with the single-minded purpose of a hunter/butcher, sent to gather food for the hungry mouths back home. She dispatches her human food sources with the dispassionate perspective of something “just doing my job.” The film is confusing as Hell, and if someone tells you the stylistic beauty and the nude Scarlett Johannson make it worth seeing, don’t believe them
1 and 1/2 pieces of very confusing nude alien killer movie toast