Gil Mansergh’s Cinema Toast

New Releases 11/06/09

The Box (PG-13)
Starring: Cameron Diaz, James Marsden, Frank Langella
Director: Richard Kelly
The director of 2001’s “Donny Darko,” has disappointed fans ever since, and this updated version of a Richard Matheson short story only hints at greatness. Like a bloated  Twilight Zone episode, a mysterious stranger with a mysterious box offers people a mysterious million dollars if they push the mysterious button in the box. Oh, by the way, when the button is pushed, someon, somewhere else, dies‑mysteriously.
2 pieces of Swiss cheese plotted  toast

Disney’s A Christmas Carol (R)
Starring: Jim Carrey, Gary Oldman, Colin Firth, Bob Hoskins
Director: Robert Zemeckis
The same director who brought us the “Polar Express” with its creepily animated Tom Hanks, now brings us a creepily animated Jim Carrey, playing most of the parts in a retelling of the Dicken’s holiday classic. But instead of going for the ghostiness of the book, the film has an identity crisis. Set in a Victorian time, it inexplicably propels old Mr. Scrooge through a science fiction style universe to view Christmas Past, Present and Future.
2 1/2 pieces of Walt would not be pleased toast

The Fourth Kind (PG-13)
Starring: Milla Jovovich, Elias Koteas, Will Patton, Hakeen Kae Kazim
Director: Olatunde Osunsanmi
A slapdash effort that liberally steals ideas from much better films, this story of extraterrestrial abductions from an Alaskan village will only work if you haven’t already seen the ultra low budget thriller, “Paranormal Activity.” (By the way, the marketing ploy that this is “real” is only hoax).
1 and 1/2 piece of digital timers on static cameras ticking down toast

The Men Who Stare at Goats (R)
Starring: George Clooney, Jeff Bridges, Ewan McGregor, Kevin Spacey
Director: Grant Heslov
George Clooney plays this like a cross between “Three Kings,” and “Brother Where Art Thou,” which is just about right for an anti-war film about the Military’s top secret “psychic warfare unit” from Jon Ronson’s satirical book. Based on reality, there really were men in the US military convinced they could dissolve storm clouds or walk through walls if they could just run fast enough.
3 pieces no goats were harmed etc. toast

NEW ON DVD

Food Inc. (NR)
Starring: Michael Pollan, Eric Schlosser
Director: Robert Kenner
Did you ever stop to consider why our Thanksgiving Turkey has such huge breasts, why our tomatoes are fresh year-round, and why our cars sometimes smell like they are running on Orville Redenbacher’s finest corn? Or did you ever wonder how E. Coli made the FBI’s list of mass murderers? The answer is simple—Food Engineering (AKA Agri-Business).  Robert Kenner’s documentary takes us (literally) into the belly of the beast in a series of vignettes that will entrance, infuriate and disgust you in equal measure.
3 pieces truly scary toast

Taking of Pelham 123 (R)
Starring: Denzel Washington, John Travolta, John Turturro, Luis Guzman
Director: Tony Scott
In the original, 1974 movie, the perpetual curmudgeon Walter Matthau played the transit authority policeman whose routine is shattered by the hijacking of a Manhattan-bound train. Led by a British mercenary (Robert Shaw) the bad guys have disabled the so-called dead man switch which is designed to stop the train if the driver dies. In the latest version, Tony Scott directs in his usual pyrotechnic style with John Travolta leading the mercenaries, Denzel Washington as the desk-bound dispatcher stuck as negotiator, and James Gandolfini as the mayor. The final act is just plain unbelievable as Washington transforms into a superhero while the train hurtles faster and faster towards an explosive (and expensive) Coney Island  finale.
2 pieces of popcorn movie toast