Gil Mansergh’s Cinema Toast
Note: Here is my response to a reader concerned that a movie I gave 3 and 1/2 pieces of toast was not yet available locally:
Dear Disappointed Reader,
I feature new releases based upon the dates provided to me by movie distributors for the “North Bay.” Independent films often have a limited number of prints in distribution, and when a movie gets strong audiences in other parts of the country, theaters will “hold over” that particular film and the print will not be a available for local theaters. Interest generated by the World Cup matches resulted in dozens of “held over” situations for “Once in a Lifetime.” I’l let you know when it ’s nearby.
Gil

NEW RELEASES 7/14/06
1 piece of tacky toast
You, Me and Dupree (PG-13)
Owen Wilson, Kate Hudson, Matt Dillon
Directed by: Anthony Russo
Newlyweds return home to find their best man has lost his job, car, girl friend, and sense of humor because he went to Hawaii for their wedding. Talent is wasted on too many bathroom jokes, domestic mishaps, and scenes of interrupted lovemaking. Movie then tries to tack on a moral to this seemingly endless series of pratfalls.

1/2 piece of shuck-and-jive toast
Little Man (R)
Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Kerry Washington
Directed by: Keenan Ivory Wayans
A tiny jewel thief disguises himself as a baby to retrieve a hidden diamond from a suburban couple. The studio calls it “HILARIOUS,” which is always a bad sign. It’s a shame the Wayans keep squandering their talent on this racist, sexist, ageist, (and heightist ?) drivel.

2 1/2 pieces of rotoscoped toast
A Scanner Darkly (R)
Keeanu Reeves, Winona Ryder, Woody Harrelson, Robert Downey Jr.
Directed by: Richard Linklater
“A Waking Life,” Richard Linklater’s 2001, masterpiece of animation, set a high standard that his newest film just doesn’t reach. Based on a Philip K. Dick sci/fi story, the movie is set in a future Orange County where big-brother watches 24 hours a day and addictive designer drugs are legal. Despite (or because) of the identifiable actors rotoscoped into animated figures, the surreal effects get in the way of telling a good story.
Opens Friday at Boulevard Arts in Petaluma
2 1/2 pieces of many-bits-go-on-too-long toast
Strangers With Candy(R)
Amy Sedaris, Stephen Colbert, Matthew Brodrick, Allison Janney, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Ian Holm, Sarah Jessica Parker, Dan Hedaya, Kristen Johnston
Directed by: Paul Danillo
Expanded from a Comedy Central parody of After-School Specials in which a 47-year-old is sent back to high school after a long stint in jail, this movie has bits of brilliance buried within a series of embarrassing situations. Not for everyone – those who love sophomoric humor and dozens of topnotch cameos will be delighted.
Exclusively at the Rialto in Santa Rosa

NEW on VIDEO & DVD
1 and 1/2 pieces of furry toast
Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction (R)
Sharon Stone, David Morrissey, Charlotte Rampling
Directed by Michael Caton-Jones
Box Office: $5,851,188
This movie had a lot of bad press even before people saw it. At least a dozen male stars (among them, Robert Downey Jr., Benjamin Bratt, Kurt Russell, Pierce Brosnan, Bruce Greenwood, and Viggo Mortensen) came and went. At one point, Stone threatened legal action to get back into production, but it hardly seems worth the effort. It’s not really bad, just boring.

2 and 1/2 pieces of Foggy Toast
On A Clear Day (PG-13)
Peter Mullan, Brenda Blethyn
Directed by: Gaby Dellal
Box Office: $90,663
The latest feel-good dramady from the British Isles (this time it’s Glasgow and Dover) where a redundant shipbuilder with time on his hands takes a notion to swim the English Channel (Is it called the French Channel on the other side?)