Gil Mansergh’s Cinema Toast
New Releases 3/23/07

Reign Over Me (R)
Adam Sandler, Don Cheadle, Jada Pinkett Smith, Liv Tyler, Saffron Burrows
Directed by: Mike Binder
Sandler is another comic who wants to be taken seriously in a movie that should be taken seriously since it deals with the aftermath of the 9/11 plane crashes, but despite all the good intentions I just didn’t believe that the Sandler and Cheadle characters were good enough friends before the tragedy to have Cheadle offer his grieving former dental school roommate a place in his home. (How’s that for a run-on sentence?)
2 and 1/2 pieces of needs an actor other than Sandler toast

The Last Mimsey (PG-13)
Timothy Hutton, Joely Richardson
Directed by: Robert Shaye with four writers credited (not a good sign)
It’s possible, I guess, that this generation of ten-year-olds have never seen “E.T.” or “Flight of the Navigator,” or “Goonies“, or any of the other stories of young people who discover a box (or bottle, or book, or board game or ???) filled with magical items and aliens from another planet. So if we assume that today’s youngsters aren’t old enough to remember those movies with delight and wonder, perhaps this newest incarnation will prove entertaining. Except for one thing. Did the original 1943 novel have kids trying to save the globe from pollution and the country from the despotic evils of the Patriot Act?
2 and 1/2 pieces of warmed over toast

Avenue Montaigne (PG-13)
Cecile de France, Christopher Thompson, Valerie Lemercier, Claude Brasseur, Albert Dupontel, Laura Morante and Sydney Pollack
Directed by: Daniele Thompson (La Buche, Jet Lag), and selected as France’s Official Entry for this year’s Best Foreign-Language Film Oscar.
A beautiful young woman from the provinces moves to Paris and lands a job waiting tables at a chic bistro on fabled Avenue Montaigne. The director says the idea for the film came to her daughter as the two sipped wine at several dozen Paris bistros (on different days, of course). (at the Rialto in Santa Rosa)
3 pieces of French melba toast

TMNT (PG)
Voices of Patrick Stewart, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Mako, Laurence Fishburne
Directed by: Kevin Munroe
3-D animation manages to make you think of the guys in foam rubber suits with fondness as Mutant Ninja Turtles Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo are transformed into computer generated guys in plastic turtle suits. It’s not worth describing the so-called plot, better instead just to warn one and all that the end result is a huge, stinking pile of “cowabunga.”
1 and 1/2 pieces of soggy pizza toast

Inland Empire (R)
Laura Dern, Jeremy Irons, Jusitn Theroux
Directed by: David Lynch
A Hollywood actress on the brink of landing a starring role in a new movie gets a disturbing warning from her new neighbor that someone will be brutally murdered in the movie. This sounds a lot like last week’s “Premonition” but with Lynch at the helm you just know it will be more….confusing? (at the Rialto in Santa Rosa)
2 pieces of self-indulgent toast

Shooter (R)
Mark Wahlberg, Kate Ara, Danny Glover, Ned Beatty
Directed by: Antoine Fuqua
In this post- 9/11 marriage of scenes from “3 Days of the Condor,” “The Manchurian Candidate,” and “The Jackel” the political paranoia runs very, very deep as a trained killer is set up as the fall-guy assassin and then tracked by other, perhaps even better trained killers. Designed for guys who like their killing done from a distance (in contrast to the up-close-and-personal swords and spears in “300″) this film about a embittered military sniper should work just fine. Heads don’t just roll, they splatter.
3 pieces of straight shooter toast

Pride (PG)
Terence Howard, Bernie Mac, Tom Arnold
Directed by: Suno Gonera
Once again , the crusty old janitor has the secret to an athlete’s success. In this case, it’s adding water to an empty pool. All of the known sports cliches are used and reality is unimportant. Little time is spent on the difficulties of actually trying to make old plumbing and pool equipment filter and heat thousands of gallons of water, and only slightly more time (in a montage, of course) is spent turning non-swimming inner-city teens into dedicated aquatic competitors. Do we have a beautiful woman who changes from skeptic to supporter and falls in love with the coach at the same time? Do we have a team from a wealthy neighborhood compete against the newcomers? Absolutely.
2 and 1/2 pieces of few surprises toast

NEW ON VIDEO/DVD

Blood Diamond (R)
Leonardo DiCaprio, Djimon Hounsou, Jennifer Connelly
Directed by: Edward Zwick
Box Office: $56,962,625
The vast majority of the world’s diamonds are controlled by syndicates in South Africa and Russia, but there are a few other places where the pressurized carbon bits are mined as well. Financing genocidal revolutions and warlords, these are called blood diamonds and a few are even tinged pink. DiCaprio has long wanted to play a charmer with a mercenary dark side and he relishes the chance, butt here are way too many scenes of brutality against women and children for me to rate this effort highly.
2 pieces of save the woman and children first toast

Eragon (PG)
Jeremy Irons, Edward Speleers, John Malkovich
Directed by: Stefan Fangmeir
Box Office: $74,931,900
They provided critics lots of information about the making of a dragon and the young author of the very successful trilogy of novels, but didn’t let us see the movie claiming they were “still working on it.”
Wasn’t available for preview and Gil still hasn’t seen it