Gil Mansergh’s Cinema Toast
New Releases 3/30/07

Blades of Glory (PG-13)
Will Farrell, Jon Heder
Directed by: Will Speck
Fans of Will Farrell’s pasty, flabby, body won’ be disappointed as once again he mines his everyman physique for a laugh. The “butt” of the joke this time around is men’s figure skating and his skating partner is the guy who played Napoleon Dynamite. Too few laughs for me, but it’s still got Will Farrell.
2 pieces of like a no longer funny SNL sketch toast

Meet the Robinsons (PG-13)
Voices of Angela Bassett, Daniel Hansen, Jordan Fry, Wesley Singerman, Timothy Hutton, Joely Richardson
Directed by: Stephen J. Anderson
Once again, 3-D is reinvented for a new generation, and technologically, the results are Gee Whiz fine. But to make a good movie, you need a strong script. Parts of this tale of a twelve-year-old boy searching for his birth mother work, but others seem snatched from another film entirely and inserted here just to have some additional Gee Whiz effects. John Lasseter, who taught me the value of writing a strong script before filming a frame, should have praticed what he preached at Pixar. Instead, he added “gags” to try and make this story work.
2 and 1/2 pieces of Gee Whiz toast

Nomad (R)
Kuno Becker, Jay Hernandez, Mark Alan Dacascos, Jason Scott Lee, Doshan
Director: Sergei Bodrov Sholzhaxynov
Kazakhstan’s entry for consideration for a Best Foreign Language Oscar (no, “Borat” didn’t qualify in this category) is a flashback to the 18th century where a prophecy tells of boy destined to unite the three warring tribes of his country in a battle against invaders. Reminiscent of the sweeping historical dramas of old (like “Taras Bulba,” or “El Cid”), it is shot on location in desolate landscapes, but the direction is amateurish, and the acting old fashioned.
1 and 1/2 pieces of when I say action, you guys run over there toast

Seraphim Falls (R)
Liam Neeson, Pierce Brosnan, Anjelica Huston, Jimmi Simpson, Nate Mooney
Directed by: David Von Ancken
The Civil War is over, but Confederate Colonel Carver has one final mission “to kill Gideon, a Union Army Captain, no matter what it takes. You can’t tell the good guy from the bad guy and the science fiction scenes in the desert come straight out of left field. Oh yes, along the way we have self-surgery with a campfire-sterilized knife, falls down a waterfall, frostbite, and slicing open a horse’s belly. Brosnan is great in this.
2 pieces of confusingly bloody western toast

Duma (PG)
Hope Davis, Campbell Scott, Alex Michaeletos, Mary Makhatho, Nthabiseng Kenoshi
Director: Carroll Ballard (“Never Cry Wolf,” ” Black Stallion,” “Fly Away Home”)
When a 10-year-old boy and his father come across an orphaned cheetah cub, they name their new friend “Duma,” the Swahili name for cheetah and take him home. The cub quickly becomes a member of the family, but when Duma is almost fully grown, they realize it’s time to return the animal to the wild.
(a “Movie In the Morning” at the Rialto in Santa Rosa)
4 pieces of incredibly wonderful toast

NEW ON VIDEO/DVD

Children of Men (R)
Clive Owen, Julianne Moore, Michael Caine
Directed by: Alfonso Cuaron
Box Office: $35,286,428
In a despairing, sterile future where no children have been born for 19 years, anarchy, nihilism, fascism and xenophobia rule as innocent (and guilty) victims stack up like firewood. Directed with flashes of brilliance and presented with an artistically realistic sensibility, it is unfortunately dragged down by Clive Owen’s wooden performance, the early deaths of two of the most interesting characters, and plot twists telegraphed well in advance so they lose their power.
2 pieces of despairing toast

The Pursuit of Happyness (PG-13)
Will Smith, Jaden Christopher Sayre Smith, Thandie Newton
Directed by: Gabrielle Muccino
Box Office: $162,586,036
Smith shines with his real-life son by his side in this “pick yourself up, dust yourself off, start all over again” style story of a father who takes a prestigious, nonpaying intern job at a high-profile firm as a possible step up, only to fall off the rungs. Obviously designed to give Smith a chance to display his acting ability just before Awards were announced, the film has beautiful views of San Francisco, and deserves kudos for trying to tell an honest story, but the film makers make the mom the bad guy and can’t decide if this is a comedy, dramady, tragedy, or motivational speaker’s seminar.
2 pieces of lost direction toast

Happy Feet (PG)
Voices of Robin Williams, Elijah Wood, Nicole Kidman
Directed by: George Miller
ox Office: $197,20,309
The Australian wunderkind who created “Babe” and “Mad Max” somehow manage to combine those two sensibilities with Computer Generated Emperor penguins and Antarctic snow slides and a dash of lively songs (but what ever happened to those cute singing mice from “Babe“?)
3 and 1/2 pieces of toe tapping toast