Gil Mansergh’s Cinema Toast
New Releases 4/27/07

Next (R)
Nicolas Cage, Jessica Biel, Peter Falk, Julianne Moore
Directed by: Lee Tamahori
As a child, Nick was studied by government scientists because of his high level of psychic ability. Now, as a Los Vegas magician, the same government (in the guise of a beautiful woman) needs help to thwart a terrist bombing.
Not available for preview

The Invisible (PG-13)
Maggie Ha, Michelle Harrison, Justin Chatwin,
Directed by: David S. Goyer
A writer finds himself trapped between the world of the living and the dead and is invisible to the living (sort of like a new screenwriter in Hollywood).
Not available for preview

The Condemned (R)
Steve (Stone Cold) Austin, Vinnie Jones
Directed by: Scott Wiper
Steve Austin did a bettter job acting as a professional wrestler than as man imprisoned in El Salvador for a crime he did not commit. The premise is that condemned prisoners can win a pardon if they agree to be dropped on a deserted island and fight the other criminals to the death. Is it survival of the fittest or (since this will all be telecast on TV) is this a snuff film? But there’s no time for ethical considerations as scene after scene of testosterone fueled violence explodes in the audience’s direction.
1 piece of I wish this had been unavailable for preview toast

Year of the Dog (R)
Molly Shannon, Peter Sarsgaard
Directed by Mike White
This is an existentially funny picture which means that it is filled with lonely, neurotic people (rather like “American Splendor,” which also featured Molly Shannon), and neurotic dogs–lots of dogs. It works “for a while “but can become strident and annoying (but then, I have a cat).
2 and 1/2 pieces of low key toast

After the Wedding (PG-13)
Mads Mikkelsen, Sidse Babett Knudsen
Directed by: Susanne Bier
The bad guy from “Casino Royale” plays a Dane who runs an orphanage in India and returns home to attend a wedding for a young woman whose father is reputed to be a philanthropist. Even the Danish subtitles don’t hide that this is a SOAP OPERA, complete with the tired old schtick about children whose parents may not be who they (or we) think they are.
2 pieces of do we care? toast

NEW ON VIDEO/DVD

The Queen (PG-13)
Helen Mirren, Michael Sheen, James Cromwell, Sylvia Syms, Helen McCrory
Directed by: Stephen Frears
Box Office: $56,222,759
At first it seems odd that the director of “High Fidelity,” “Mrs. Henderson Presents,” and “Sammy and Rosie Get Laid” could create such a warm and likable film about Queen Elizabeth II, but let’s not forget Helen Mirren’s influence in all of this. Immediately following the death of ex-Princess Diana, the Queen mum seems unconcerned. “It’s a private matter,” she tells Tony Blair, but soon, events take center stage. The film and the star are Oscar-worthy and Mirren took one home.
4 pieces of Oscar quality toast

Deja Vu (PG-13)
Denzel Washington, Jim Caviezel, Paula Patton
Directed by: Tony Scott
Box Office: $63,944,632
It’s Fat Tuesday (Mardi Gras), and a ferry leaves the New Orleans dock loaded with school children on a field trip, Navy sailors by the hundreds going on leave, newlyweds, geriatric couples, and a young girl who cries when her doll falls overboard. Then, after a suitable amount of tension building, a terrorist bomb explodes and sends the ferry and hundreds of passengers to their deaths. Enter ATF Agent Carlin (Washington) to save the day and fall in love with a dead woman.
3 pieces of Jerry Bruckheimer style toast