Gil Mansergh’s Cinema Toast

New Releases 12/28/07

The Great Debaters (PG-13)
Denzel Washington, Forest Whitaker, Trenton McClain Boyd, Devyn Tyler, Kimberly Elise
Director: Denzel Washington
Sort of a cross between “Remember the Titans“and “Spellbound,” this movie uses the sports cliché of the underdog college team from the Jim Crow South competing against the national champions. Only this is a team of debaters (that’s right, people who stand up and hurl well thought words at each other), and the national champion is Harvard, in this “based on a true story” tale.
3 pieces of pithy aphorisms toast.

The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep (PG)
Emily Watson, Alex Etel, Ben Chaplin, David Morrissey, Brian Cox,
Director: Jay Russell
In Celtic folk tales, a kelpie is a supernatural, shape-shifting animal that looks like a pony on the land but transforms into a seal-like creature in the ocean. They are easy to spot because their mane is always dripping water. In this movie, the critter is hatched from a rock-like egg by a wistful young boy whose missing father presumably drowned when his boat sank. There are no surprises here, no false notes. It’s like a flashback to those kinder, gentler family movies like “Into the West‘ (which also features a kelpie) ” a nice antidote to the flash and bang of most of today’s movies.
3 pieces of kelpie toast

NEW VIDEO DVDs

Rush Hour 3 (PG-13)
Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker
Directed by: Fred Savage
Box Office: $140,080,85
The bored faces of the stars on the movie poster say it all “this is the death of the franchise, it won’t be helped even with the great publicity of being banned from being shown in China because the government’s censor says it has an “anti-Chinese” storyline. (But what do I know? Look at the Box Office numbers).
1 and 1/2 piece of Jackie Chan toast.

The Kingdom (R)
Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner, Chris Cooper, Jason Bateman
Directed by: Peter Berg
Box Office: $47,456,450
This wants to be a major motion picture, but it comes off like an old A-Team episode. When terrorists bomb an international neighborhood in Saudi Arabia, an Oscar winner calls in a group of his Oscar and Golden Globe winning friends on a secret mission to locate the bad guys.
2 and 1/2 pieces of it’s only OK toast

Eastern Promises (R)
Viggo Mortensen, Naomi Watts, Armin Mueller-Stahl
Directed by: David Cronenberg
Box Office: $17,114,882
Think “Godfather” with Russians, in Britain instead of the U.S.A. and you’ll have a pretty fair assessment of what’s going on in this tautly crafted thriller. It starts with a pregnant teen dying in childbirth and leaving a Russian language diary as the only secret to her identity. A helpful midwife gets the diary translated and ends up involved with the Russian mafia. Mortensen is excellent as a chauffeur/bodyguard who sees an opportunity and takes it. Not for everyone, this is classic Cronenberg with graphic violence, including a nude steam bath battle featuring close ups of all 43 mob tattoos on Mortensen’s sculpted form.
3 and 1/2 pieces of Russian wry toast.

The Heartbreak Kid (R)
Ben Stiller, Michelle Monaghan
Directed by: Peter Farrelly
Box Office: $36,771,343
The Farrelly Brothers are famous for their raunchy comedies, and after a few missteps in the past couple years, they fall flat on their face with this one. It’s based upon the Elaine May directed, Neil Simon penned, 1972 movie of the same name, about a man who marries in haste, his sunburned bride, and the opportunity to meet a woman he really does love. The secret to a comedy’s success is the timing ” and avoiding making the audience cringe in embarrassment and disgust.
1 and 1/2 pieces of Farrelly Brothers go too far toast