Gil Mansergh’s Cinema Toast

For the week of 12/19/08

Seven Pounds (PG-13)
Starring: Will Smith, Rosario Dawson, Woody Harrelson, Barry Pepper
Director: Gabriele Muccino
In what is undoubtedly this box office legend’s darkest film, Will Smith plays a sucidal character who must convince seven other people to embrace life before he can complete his own demise. Part con-man, part evangelist, part knowledgable teacher, part dour fatalist, this is a fascinating character to watch but audiences might find the inevitable result a downer and the final scene (with the ill chosen pop song) baffling.
2 pieces of Will Smith gets better and better but this is still an odd choice toast

The Tale of Despereaux (G)
Starring the voices of : Matthew Broderick, Robbie Coltrane, Dustin Hoffman, Richard Jenkins
Director: Sam Fell, Rob Stevenhagen
Brilliantly drawn, but still overly familiar animated tale makes you wonder what was so magical in the original book to earn a Newberry Medal. The problem stems from the clunky melding of three storylines “The big-earred mouse who dreams of heroic deeds and flies (like Dumbo); A rat who gets banished to the dungeon afer ending up in the queen’s soup (like Ratatouille): and the girl who tends pigs and dreams of being a princess (like Cinderella and a dozen others). In the end, it’s all a muddled (but still beautiful) mess.
2 pieces of ultimately dull and disappointing toast

Yes Man (PG-13)
Starring: Jim Carrey, Zooey Deschanel, Bradley Cooper, Rhys Darby
Director: Peyton Reed
Yet another under-directed movie starring a popular comedian who is encourqged to “wing it,” when his wings should be clipped so the movie works better. This time, the rubber-faced Jim Carrey tries to provide the glue to hold this mish mash of a so-called comedy together. The storyline is about a guy whose mission in life (and job) depends on saying “No.” When a self help guru transforms him into something that always says “Yes,” the results should be more interesting. Instead, with all the pratfalls, we wonder when the Seltzer bottle will appear.
1 and 1/2 pieces of someone should have said NO to this project toast

VIDEO/DVD

Fanny Hill: Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure (R)
Starring: Rebecca Night, Alex Robertson
Directed by: Andrew Davies
This sumptuous BBC-TV version of John Cleland’s classic 1748 bawdy novel, follows a pretty orphan girl who seeks her fortune in Olde London and ends up working on her back (that’s a euphemism for being a prostitute). Delightfully naughty, with lots of crinolines and knickers and rumpled bedclothing, this film keeps the distinctive voice and tone that makes the original novel so wicked.
3 and 1/2 pieces of things like this used to be sold “under the counter” toast

Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (PG-13)
Starring: Brendan Fraser, Jet Li, Maria Bello, John Hannah, Michelle Yeoh
Directed by: Rob Cohen
Brendan Fraser makes this work as Mummy-hunter Rick O’Connell travels to China with his wife, and teen-age son (any similarity between the latest Indian Jones adventure is purely coincidental). They must stop the dastardly plans of an Asian mummy-the Dragon Emperor and his 10,000 terra-cotta warriors. Don’t take this movie too seriously, and you will have as much fun as young audiences did while watching movie serials like 1942’s “Perils of Nyoka.”(which starred Clayton Moore before he wore The Lone Ranger mask).
3 pieces of guilty pleasure toast

Mama Mia (PG-13)
Starring: Meryl Streep, Amanda Seyfried, Pierce Brosnan, Stellan Skarsgard, Colin Firth
Director: Phyllida Lloyd
I was one of the 30 million people who saw this musical onstage (in San Francisco) where I was willing to forget the clunky plot to sing along with the ABBA songs. On the big screen, the filmmakers have cleverly “opened up” the picture with pretty scenery and actors who sing about as well as I do (Pierce Brosnan is even worse and Meryl Streep confessed that she did her own singing partly to embarrass her teen-age daughter). But it doesn’t matter, it’s fun for all (especially the sing-along version).
3 pieces of “Thank You for the Music” toast