Gil Mansergh’s Cinema Toast

New Releases 1/9/09

Bride Wars (PG)
Starring: Kate Hudson, Anne Hathaway, Kristen Johnson, Bryan Greenberg
Director: Gary Winick
The concept is that the wedding industry, with all it’s “traditions”(many of which were made up by advertising agencies), will be easy to lampoon, but, this film has so many product placements it makes you wonder if the filmmakers had a registry (with suggested prices) to solicit the various “gifts” they highlight onscreen. Watching two lifetime best friends fight over wedding dates because of a scheduling mix up is jut ludicrous “there guest lists are so close, they should have a double wedding ceremony. But logic doesn’t apply and you end up really disliking everyone (except for Kristen Johnson, who you are supposed to dislike but who instead comes through as a beacon of sanity.
1/2 piece of they should elope toast

The Unborn ( R)
Starring: Odette Yustman, Gary Oldman, Meagan Good, Idris Elba
Director: David Goyer
The press notes say this is “a supernatural thriller that follows a young woman pulled into a world of nightmares when a demonic spirit haunts her and threatens everyone she loves. ” Other critics have labelled the film “hilarious” which was not the filmmakers’ intention.
Unavailable for preview

Ashes of Time Redux (NR)
Starring: Leslie Cheung, Tony Leung Ka Fai, Brigitte Lin, Tony Leung Chiu-Wai
Director: Kar Wai Wong ( AKA Wong Kar-Wai)
First released in 1994, many feel that this martial arts epic is Hong Kong director Wong Kar Wai at his best. It is gorgeously filmed and still as inexplicable as when it was first released, but now Yo Yo Ma’s cello has been added to somehow make the Zen pronouncements of the warriors even more Zen-like. Like an abstract work of art, some will embrace this film, while others won’t understand this “Eastern” at all.
3 pieces of Wong Kar Wai toast

Revolutionary Road (R)
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, Michael Shannon, Kathryn Hahn
Director: Sam Mendes
Apparently the boat didn’t sink after all “at least we have three of “Titanic’s” stars reuniting in a movie about a marriage that makes you sort of glad that the other boyfriend died. The concept is that living the suburban life with the required commute, station wagon, kids and pets isn’t as much fun as it appears in advertisements. Imagine taking a quiet stroll on evening and overhearing the bickering and shouting of various neighbors and- you get the idea. It’s brilliantly acted and even has a message of sorts, but is it the way you would choose to spend an evening? You can put the book down and take a break between the battle scenes, but here, it just relentlessly keeps spiraling downward.
2 pieces of well acted but too much for the audience to handle toast

Gran Torino (R)
Starring: Clint Eastwood, Christopher Carley, Bee Vang, Ahney Her
Director: Clint Eastwood
This film has finally made it to the North Bay. Eastwood is stacking up “Best Actor” nominations for his work as an older, retired Dirty Harry clone who doesn’t mind pulling out a rifle to settle what he perceives as trespassing. Seen by some as a redemptive tale of an old racist turning over a new leaf, it could just as easily be interpreted as “once a bigot, always a bigot,” especially if the bigot loves his car more than people and his idea of being “a man” is to teach youngsters how to swear and hurl racial epithets.
3 pieces of “get off my lawn” won’t “make your day” but it still grabs your attention toast

VIDEO/DVD

Bangkok Dangerous (R)
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Chakrit Yamnarm, , Charlie Yeung
Director: Oxide Pang, Danny Pang
Darkness, wet streets, neon, and bloody violence punctuated the popular Hong Kong action film of the same name by the same filmmakers. Now they try for a bigger (and more lucrative) audience by casting Nicolas Cage as the hired assassin who travels to Bangkok on a job only to break his own first rule “don’t get involved. It’s good advice for potential audiences as well.
1/2 piece of wasted film stock toast

Disaster Movie (PG-13)
Starring: Matt Lanter, Kim Kardashian, Vanessa Minnillo, Carmen Electra
Director: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer
The filmmakers who brought us “Epic Movie,” “Date Movie,” “Scary Movie,” and “Meet the Spartans” continues their sophomoric style of “not very funny but we’ll put it on film anyway” humor. Considered by many critics to be the worst film of the year even audiences seemed to agree. Despite all the uncovered breasts and fart jokes, it only earned $14 million at the boxoffice.
1/2 piece of avoid this disaster of a movie toast