Gil Mansergh’s Cinema Toast

New Releases 4/10/09

Dragonball: Evolution (PG)
Starring: Justin Chatwin, Emmy Rossum, Jamie Chung, Chow Yun Fat
Director: James Wong
Based on an immensely popular animated Japanese TV series, which is based on a video game, which is based on Manga comic books, the movie makers decided to cast live actors instead of animated ones. Bad decision.
Unavailable for preview

Hannah Montana The Movie (G)
Starring: Miley Cyrus, Margo Martindale, Jason Earles, Peter Gunn
Director: Peter Chelsom
Hannah returns to her Tennessee roots in a film that inexplicably keeps trying to squash Miley’s irrepressible optimism. The concert film was good, but this is like one of the serials from the old Mickey Mouse Club.
1 and 1/2 pieces of feels like the magic is gone toast

Observe and Report (R)
Starring: Seth Rogen, Anna Faris, Michael Pena, Ray Liotta
Director: Jody Hill
Not to be confused with another movie about a mall cop, this movie is also about a mall cop who wants to solve a crime so that he can be considered for a job as a “real” cop. The difference is that this particular cop seems unable to utter two sentences without using the F-word. In the spirit of “Pineapple Express,” there’s lots of improv being recorded by the camera but very little is funny (unless you feel whacking a skateboarder on the side of the head with your baton is funny).
1 and 1/2 pieces of bad-cop, worse-cop toast

Hunger (R)
Starring: Michael Fassbender, Liam Cunningham, Stuart Graham, Brian Milligan
Director: Steve McQueen
In 1981, the Maze Prison in Northern Ireland was populated with IRA prisoners who protested their brutal incarceration by staging a hunger strike. Visual artist and first-time filmmaker Steve McQueen takes his time to tell this story of guards turning into sadists as they “take care” of people who won’t wash, won’t eat, won’t conform to what the British captors think is right and proper. The result is truly horrifying and perversely heroic. NOTE: Brutal depictions of deadly consequences
3 pieces of grueling toast

Sin Nombre (R)
Starring: Edgar Flores, Paulina Gaitan, Kristyan Ferrer, Tenoch Huerta Mejia
Director: Cary Fukunaga
I understand the artistry of this film. I understand the likeable characters. I understand why it got rave reviews at Sundance. I understand it is a reflection of the brutal reality of Latino gangs in Mexico and the US. But I still can’t suggest someone see it. The problem is that the tenderness of the love story isn’t just offset by the brutal violence of the terrorist, rapists who call themselves a gang “it is bludgeoned by it.
1 piece of truly terrifying toast

NEW ON DVD

Doubt (R)
Starring: Meryl Streep, Amy Adams, Phillip Seymour Hoffman
Directed by: John Patrick Stanley
The playwright directs his own Pulitzer Prize winning Broadway hit about an angry and mean-spirited nun who accuses a popular priest of molesting a 12 year old altar boy behind closed doors. The truth is, although certaintude runs rampant, we don’t know what happened. Streep and Hoffman are encouraged to chew up the scenery while Adams, as the young novitiate, remains dazed and confused about who to believe.
3 pieces of overacted toast

The Tale of Despereaux (G)
Starring the voices of : Matthew Broderick, Robbie Coltrane, Dustin Hoffman, Richard Jenkins
Director: Sam Fell, Rob Stevenhagen
Brilliantly drawn, but still overly familiar animated tale makes you wonder what was so magical in the original book to earn a Newberry Medal. The problem stems from the clunky melding of three storylines “The big-earred mouse who dreams of heroic deeds and flies (like Dumbo); A rat who gets banished to the dungeon afer ending up in the queen’s soup (like Ratatouille): and the girl who tends pigs and dreams of being a princess (like Cinderella and a dozen others). In the end, it’s all a muddled (but still beautiful) mess.
2 pieces of ultimately dull and disappointing toast

Yes Man (PG-13)
Starring: Jim Carrey, Zooey Deschanel, Bradley Cooper, Rhys Darby
Director: Peyton Reed
Yet another under-directed movie starring a popular comedian who is encourqged to “wing it,” when his wings should be clipped so the movie works better. This time, the rubber-faced Jim Carrey tries to provide the glue to hold this mish mash of a so-called comedy together. The storyline is about a guy whose mission in life (and job) depends on saying “No.” When a self help guru transforms him into something that always says “Yes,” the results should be more interesting. Instead, with all the pratfalls, we wonder when the seltzer bottle will appear._
1 and 1/2 pieces of someone should have said NO to this project toast